你的微笑 the smile on your face

今早原想問你, 你要送我什麼禮物, 但奇怪的是, 話到了嘴裡, 竟成了"你要我送你什麼禮物?"頓時, 眼角泛起了淚水, 因為發覺我已很久很久沒送你禮物了. 過去這些年, 我一直看著心裡那個缺口, 不斷嘗試著填滿它. 我看著這缺口, 吶喊著, 哭著; 我看著你, 嘶吼著, 哭求著, 但我卻忘了仔細的好好看看你.

今早, 當我問你想要什麼禮物時, 我看到你眼中閃爍著光, 你的臉上掛起半月形的笑容, 我的心溶化了. 原來, 我遺忘你多時; 原來, 你一直等待著我細細的凝視你; 原來, 你一直渴望我的愛, 因它使你滿足. 我捧著我的愛, 想要有人可以收納珍藏, 想要有人因我的愛臉上掛著幸福滿足的笑容... 最後, 抬頭一看, 你的手一直捧著我的愛; 最後明白, 你使我的愛有了歸屬, 有了意義且視為珍貴. 我感謝你願意收留我的愛... 終於, 我的愛再次找到了你...
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This morning, I was thinking to ask you what gift you will give to me, but, strangly, when the word came to my mouth, it became "what do you want me to give to you?". Suddenly, I felt my eyes were wet, since I just realized that I haven't given you any gift for a long long time. In the past years, I kept looking at the hole of my heart and trying to fill it up. I looked at the hole and cried out loud; I looked at you, yelled and cried. Sadly, I have forgotten to really look at you.

This morning, when I asked you what gift I can give to you, I saw your eyes twinkled with delight and the smile on your face was shaped like a half-moon. Then my heart was melt. The fact is I have forgotten you for a long time. The fact is you have been waiting me to look at you carefully. The fact is you always desire my love because it will satisfy you. I have been holding my love and hoping someone will accept, hoping my love can make someone having a happy and satisfied smile on his face... In the end, when I turn around and look up to you, you are always holding my love in your hand. In the end, I realize that you give my love a place to belong to, give my love a meaning and value. I thank you for being willing to accept and treasure my precious love... Finally, my love found you once more.

對話 Dialogue

你說: 你是孤兒寡母的父
你說: 你與我走到世界的盡頭直到末日
你說: 你大能的雙手必定扶持我
你說: 孩子, 不要懼怕, 哭泣, 我愛你至深, 至切
但
我的眼, 看不見你擺設的未來
我的手, 摸不著你設下的屏障
我的心, 去不到你預備的家鄉
我的淚, 流不盡我心中的悲傷
我的人, 瘋狂的想逃往你的臂彎
你說: 你看著心疼著我的眼淚
你說: 你捧著我顫抖受傷的心
你說: 你拖著我四分五裂的世界
你說, 你說, 你說...
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You say: you are the father of widow and orphan
You say: you will walk with me till the end of the world
You say: your mighty hands will hold me
You say: child, don't be afraid or cry. I love you to the death
But
My eyes can't see the future you have planed
My hands can't touch the protection you have set
My heart can't reach the home you have prepared
My tears can't wash away the sorrow in my heart
Whole of me is longing to run into your arms
You say: you look at me and treature every drop of my tears
You say: you hold my trembling and broken heart
You say: you hold my collapsing world
You say, you say, you say...

手 Hands

那天, 看見一位父親將還不會走路的孩子跨在他的脖子上. 小男孩高高的超過所有人, 從他臉上的表情可以看見快樂. 他揮舞著手, 身體上下的擺動著... 再觀看, 原來父親大大的手掌在孩子的背後拖住他, 以防他不小心往後翻了下來, 因為孩子還太小, 連坐穩都可能是問題.

頓時, 我想到了你; 你正如那父親一樣, 深深的愛著我, 呵護著我, 即使是無關痛癢的小事, 你都願意為我完成, 因我的笑容正滿足你片刻的心. 你是如此無可救藥的愛著我!!!

你將我高高的舉起, 使我可以看見遠方及未來; 你為我圓了許多瘋狂的夢想, 因你強而有力的手在我背後. 你是如此無可救藥的愛著我!!!
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That day I saw a father let a baby child ride cross his neck. This little boy is so high than anyone else. His face tells me "happiness". He waves his hands and moves his body as dancing. I looked again: actually his father's hand is holding the back of this little boy because he is too small to sit firmly.

Suddenly, you come into my mind. You are just like that father: love me so deeply, take care of me gently and even fulfill my tiny thoughts, because, right at that moment, the smile on my face will satisfy your heart. You love me so much deeply and unconditionally!!!

You raise me up so high that I can see the farthest place and the future. You fulfill my crazy dreams for me because your mighty and powerful hands are holding me on my back. You love me so much deeply and unconditionally!!!

愛之歌 Love song

我該如何描繪你
原來 你是如此浩瀚 如此偉大
我該如何描繪你
原來 所有的言辭都是如此的有限
我該如何描繪你
原來 我只能用我的心及情感來經歷
甚願
你的愛在我心中劃下愛的記號
甚願
我的心完全被你所淹沒
甚願
我醉倒在你的愛及能力中
甚願
我與你愛的歌曲不斷唱出新調
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How can I describe you
Actually, you are too great and mighty
How can I describe you
Actually, the words are so limited and few
How can I describe you
Actually
I can only experience you with my heart and my soul
Let
Your love make a love scare in my heart
Let
My heart be overwhelmed because of you
Let
Me get drunk in your love and power
Let
There be new songs singing the love between you and me

鏡子 Mirror

我托著鏡子, 不住的看
鏡中是如此真實, 無可否認
我拖著鏡子, 不住的看
試著看出你所看的, 矯正你所說的黑點點
我拖著鏡子, 不住的看
為著緊緊跟著我的黑點點
心碎哭泣不絕

年復一年
我拖著鏡子, 不住的看

年復一年
你不絕的在我耳邊呢喃
年復一年

終於, 我抬起頭 看見你的面
你用溫柔的雙手擦乾我的淚
終於, 我抬起頭 看見你的面
你看著我的眼 說著一遍又一遍
我會愛你 抱著你一直到永遠

我丟下了鏡子, 被你擁入到胸懷
被愛及接納 我的真實及缺殘
愛你 因你不變恆久的愛
信你 因在你手中有我最好的未來
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I was holding a mirror and looking at it;
What it showed was so real and undeniable.
I was holding a mirror and looking at it;
Trying to see what he saw in me and fix the black spot he told me.
I was holding a mirror and looking at it;
Weeping for the spot that was, is and will always be with me.

Years and years...
I was holding a mirror and looking at it.

Years and years...
You have been whispering over me.
Years and years...

Finally, I lift up my head and see your face;
You wipe away my tears with your gentle hands.
Finally, I lift up my head and see your face;
You look into my eyes and say it over and over again...
I will love you and hold you forever till the end.

I drop the mirror and am held by your hands;
I have been loved and accepted in the way I am;
I love you for your love for me till the end.
And trust in you for the best you have for me in your hands.

沈默的吶喊 Crying in silence

我還是喊了出來

在心裡
以為不再痛, 以為已感受不到痛
但就如被截肢一般
手是不在了
感覺依然
痛依然
多久, 還要多久

你說 會海闊天空的
你說 會陪我走過
你說 會再次飛翔
你說

你的話成為我的安慰
你的話成為我的力量
你的話成為我的希望

但願你的話不只是言語
但願我看見且經歷到你的話
但願我的相信成為真實
但願...

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Again, I cried it out
in my heart
I thought I won't feel pain anymore; I thought I can take that pain
But it is like cutting my hand off
my hand is gone
but the feeling is there
the pain is there
How long? How long would it be?

You said, I will see the the sunshine again
You said, you will be there with me
You said, I will fly again in the blue sky
You said...

May your words not be just word itself
May I see and stand in your work of your words
May what I believe become so true and real
May....

酸與甜 Sweet and sour

那天和一個剛信主的朋友聊天, 他說到生命就是一段和上帝相交的時光. 他的話不禁點醒了我, 在我的生命中, 這段與神交往的時光, 有多少是在與祂賭氣, 與祂爭鬧, 又有多少時光是真正愛祂, 與祂交心的呢?
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The other day, I had a chat with a friend who just accepted Jesus as his Lord. He mentioned that life is the time to have relationship with God. What he said made me glimpse something: how much of my life that I spend on arguing or wrestling with God and how much of my life that I love Him truly and worship Him?

knock, knock...

Knock, knock...
"Is anyone there?"
Knock, knock...
"Could you let me in?"
Knock, knock...
"Please open the door!"
Knock, knock...
Knock, knock...

I run out my tears and strength
sitting on the ground outside of the gate
"knock, knock..." I say...

I stare at the door and wait
leaning on the door shut behind me
"knock, knock..." I say...

You open the door with tears on your face
smiling to me and say...
"my love, sorry for making you wait
I have prepared the best for you, my beloved."

Knock, knock...
Knock, knock...
The pounding of my heart has been heard by my beloved...

Knock, knock...
Knock, knock...

天堂 Heaven

記得一個故事是這麼說的, 最殘酷的懲罰就是沒有人可以分享.
能夠與彼此相愛的人一起看電影, 散步, 甚至只是靠在一起, 都是幸福的, 而那就是天堂, 反之, 就是地獄.
有人曾如此描述地獄, 就是沒有上帝的地方; 與上帝分離.
相信了上帝, 就是開始與神建立一個關係, 一個愛的關係.
但我是否真的因與上帝在一起而感到是在天堂呢?
是否我真的因能夠與他分享歡笑的時光, 流淚的時刻, 或無言的靜默, 而感到滿足, 幸福, 感到在天堂呢?
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There is a story saying like this: the cruelest punishment is there is no one you can share with.
It's happiness and heaven when we are able to have time with the one whom we love each other : talking a walk, watching a movie, or even just leaning against each other.
Believing God is building a relationship with Him, a love relationship.
But would I really feel like in heaven while having the relationship with God?
Do I really think I am in heaven just because I can share the time of my tears, laughs or even silence with Him?
Am I really happy and satisfied with just being with Him?

明白 Understand

為什麼, 為什麼, 為什麼... 不斷的在問.
你或無言, 或給我另一個為什麼的答案. 我繼續的問...

終於, 停止了詢問, 因我無法完全了解你,
無法明白你如何創造這世界, 無法明白你為何如此愛我, 無法明白在你腦中的計畫及想法,

但我終於明白,
這些尚未得到答案的為什麼, 都不在那麼重要,
重要的是...我深深明白你愛我, 全心全意的愛我, 為著我;
而你要的, 是我能愛你, 且完全信任你, 相信你....

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Why? Why? Why...? I keep asking.
Either you are silent or give me an answer for another "why".
I continue asking...

Finally, I stop, because I would never understand you completely.
I don't understand how you created the world;
I don't understand why you love me so;
I don't understand those thoughts and plans in your mind.

But I, finally, understand that
it's not that important to find out the answer for those unanswered questions.
The most important thing is...
I truly know you love me, with your whole heart,
and you are always there for me.
What you want from me is...
I can love you, fully trust in you and believe you...

他聽, 他聽 He answered me

謝謝你聽見我, 且回答了我的請求. 四個月沈默的日子, 今天你開了我的口, 給了我機會, 一個二十分鐘做自己的自在. 謝謝你深知我的心思, 謝謝你的體貼, 謝謝你對我的愛!!
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Thank you for hearing me and answering my request. After four-month silence, today, you open my mouth and give me an opportunity, the twenty-minute freedom of being myself. Thank you for knowing the deep desire down into my heart; thank you for your sweetness; thank you for the love you have for me.

擁抱 Hugs

月亮躲在漆黑的天空之外, 獨自走在蜿蜒的小路上.
累, 是乾裂的雙腳, 也是沁在淚水中的心.
只想躺在你的肩膀上, 任由我的心傾倒在你的面前;
只想張開我的雙臂, 緊緊將你抱住!
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The moon is hiding behind the dark sky.
I am walking along the winding road.
Tired is my legs; tired is my heart sopping in the tears.
I just want to lean on your shoulders and pour out my heart before you;
just want to open my arms and hold you tightly into my arms.