希望 Hope

面對牆上的白紙黑字, 竟沒有了感覺
面對一張張的照片, 竟沒有了感覺
面對安靜的你, 竟沒有了感覺
突然意識到我已讓腦袋放空很久
原來我已任由情感凋零很久
原來此刻的我已經離你很遠很遠
原來我已不在寄望因為不想失望
原來我已成為失去生命的軀殼
願我的心再次跳動
願我的情感再次呼吸
願我的生命再次跳躍
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Reading those words written on the wall, I feel nothing
Looking at those photos, I feel nothing
Facing a quiet you, I feel nothing
Suddenly, I realize that...
I have let my mind blank for a long time
I have let my feelings withered for a long time
I have been away from you for a long time
I have not kept hoping because I don't want to be dispointed
I have been a body without breath
May my heart beat again
May my feelings flow again
May my life dance again

對話 Dialogue

你說: 你是孤兒寡母的父
你說: 你與我走到世界的盡頭直到末日
你說: 你大能的雙手必定扶持我
你說: 孩子, 不要懼怕, 哭泣, 我愛你至深, 至切
但
我的眼, 看不見你擺設的未來
我的手, 摸不著你設下的屏障
我的心, 去不到你預備的家鄉
我的淚, 流不盡我心中的悲傷
我的人, 瘋狂的想逃往你的臂彎
你說: 你看著心疼著我的眼淚
你說: 你捧著我顫抖受傷的心
你說: 你拖著我四分五裂的世界
你說, 你說, 你說...
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You say: you are the father of widow and orphan
You say: you will walk with me till the end of the world
You say: your mighty hands will hold me
You say: child, don't be afraid or cry. I love you to the death
But
My eyes can't see the future you have planed
My hands can't touch the protection you have set
My heart can't reach the home you have prepared
My tears can't wash away the sorrow in my heart
Whole of me is longing to run into your arms
You say: you look at me and treature every drop of my tears
You say: you hold my trembling and broken heart
You say: you hold my collapsing world
You say, you say, you say...

月亮 Moon

車子在快速道路上直奔,
路的兩旁是一片片的樹林, 總以為在樹林的背後, 會看到海, 聽到濤聲, 但沒有.
樹的頂端掛著濛濛的月亮, 總以為在月亮的底下, 會看到倒影, 隨浪漂盪, 但沒有.
在心裡的底層, 有個夢, 總以為不斷的往下挖, 會遇見我的夢, 那多采的夢, 但, 還沒有...
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Car runs so fast on the high way,
Both sides of the road are trees after trees; I thought I will see the sea and hear the sound of the waves behind the trees. But, no.
The moon is hanging on top of the tree; I thought I will see the shadow flowing on the sea beneath the moon. But, no.
The bottom of my heart buries a dream; I thought I will meet my dream, the sweetest dream, if I keep digging down to it. But, not yet....

手 Hands

那天, 看見一位父親將還不會走路的孩子跨在他的脖子上. 小男孩高高的超過所有人, 從他臉上的表情可以看見快樂. 他揮舞著手, 身體上下的擺動著... 再觀看, 原來父親大大的手掌在孩子的背後拖住他, 以防他不小心往後翻了下來, 因為孩子還太小, 連坐穩都可能是問題.

頓時, 我想到了你; 你正如那父親一樣, 深深的愛著我, 呵護著我, 即使是無關痛癢的小事, 你都願意為我完成, 因我的笑容正滿足你片刻的心. 你是如此無可救藥的愛著我!!!

你將我高高的舉起, 使我可以看見遠方及未來; 你為我圓了許多瘋狂的夢想, 因你強而有力的手在我背後. 你是如此無可救藥的愛著我!!!
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That day I saw a father let a baby child ride cross his neck. This little boy is so high than anyone else. His face tells me "happiness". He waves his hands and moves his body as dancing. I looked again: actually his father's hand is holding the back of this little boy because he is too small to sit firmly.

Suddenly, you come into my mind. You are just like that father: love me so deeply, take care of me gently and even fulfill my tiny thoughts, because, right at that moment, the smile on my face will satisfy your heart. You love me so much deeply and unconditionally!!!

You raise me up so high that I can see the farthest place and the future. You fulfill my crazy dreams for me because your mighty and powerful hands are holding me on my back. You love me so much deeply and unconditionally!!!

愛之歌 Love song

我該如何描繪你
原來 你是如此浩瀚 如此偉大
我該如何描繪你
原來 所有的言辭都是如此的有限
我該如何描繪你
原來 我只能用我的心及情感來經歷
甚願
你的愛在我心中劃下愛的記號
甚願
我的心完全被你所淹沒
甚願
我醉倒在你的愛及能力中
甚願
我與你愛的歌曲不斷唱出新調
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How can I describe you
Actually, you are too great and mighty
How can I describe you
Actually, the words are so limited and few
How can I describe you
Actually
I can only experience you with my heart and my soul
Let
Your love make a love scare in my heart
Let
My heart be overwhelmed because of you
Let
Me get drunk in your love and power
Let
There be new songs singing the love between you and me

鏡子 Mirror

我托著鏡子, 不住的看
鏡中是如此真實, 無可否認
我拖著鏡子, 不住的看
試著看出你所看的, 矯正你所說的黑點點
我拖著鏡子, 不住的看
為著緊緊跟著我的黑點點
心碎哭泣不絕

年復一年
我拖著鏡子, 不住的看

年復一年
你不絕的在我耳邊呢喃
年復一年

終於, 我抬起頭 看見你的面
你用溫柔的雙手擦乾我的淚
終於, 我抬起頭 看見你的面
你看著我的眼 說著一遍又一遍
我會愛你 抱著你一直到永遠

我丟下了鏡子, 被你擁入到胸懷
被愛及接納 我的真實及缺殘
愛你 因你不變恆久的愛
信你 因在你手中有我最好的未來
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I was holding a mirror and looking at it;
What it showed was so real and undeniable.
I was holding a mirror and looking at it;
Trying to see what he saw in me and fix the black spot he told me.
I was holding a mirror and looking at it;
Weeping for the spot that was, is and will always be with me.

Years and years...
I was holding a mirror and looking at it.

Years and years...
You have been whispering over me.
Years and years...

Finally, I lift up my head and see your face;
You wipe away my tears with your gentle hands.
Finally, I lift up my head and see your face;
You look into my eyes and say it over and over again...
I will love you and hold you forever till the end.

I drop the mirror and am held by your hands;
I have been loved and accepted in the way I am;
I love you for your love for me till the end.
And trust in you for the best you have for me in your hands.

沈默的吶喊 Crying in silence

我還是喊了出來

在心裡
以為不再痛, 以為已感受不到痛
但就如被截肢一般
手是不在了
感覺依然
痛依然
多久, 還要多久

你說 會海闊天空的
你說 會陪我走過
你說 會再次飛翔
你說

你的話成為我的安慰
你的話成為我的力量
你的話成為我的希望

但願你的話不只是言語
但願我看見且經歷到你的話
但願我的相信成為真實
但願...

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Again, I cried it out
in my heart
I thought I won't feel pain anymore; I thought I can take that pain
But it is like cutting my hand off
my hand is gone
but the feeling is there
the pain is there
How long? How long would it be?

You said, I will see the the sunshine again
You said, you will be there with me
You said, I will fly again in the blue sky
You said...

May your words not be just word itself
May I see and stand in your work of your words
May what I believe become so true and real
May....

笑與淚 laugh with tears

一只封塵很久的箱子
早已忘了
也不想再翻開
但
無意間
被人攪動翻亂
哭了
因不想回顧
笑了
因不再需要保存那只殘破的箱子
我
流著淚笑著
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A box, locked for a long time
forgot it for years
don't want to open it either
But
suddenly
someone opened it, poured it out
I cried
for I don't want to see those things in the box
I laughed
for I don't need to keep this old broken box anymore
I laughed with tears

開始 New start

時間像是不會斷的河水, 流啊流...

該如何劃清界線, 向過去說再見
終於
在記憶的儲藏室中, 畫出一道線
停止在那陳舊的皮箱中尋找
上了鎖
轉過身
邁開步
重新開始吧!!!
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Time is a river, running without stop
How to draw a line in time to say good-bye to the past
Finally
I draw a line in the storage room of my memories
Stop searching in the old suitcase carrying laughs and tears
Lock it up
Turn around
Step out
Let's have a new start!!!

酸與甜 Sweet and sour

那天和一個剛信主的朋友聊天, 他說到生命就是一段和上帝相交的時光. 他的話不禁點醒了我, 在我的生命中, 這段與神交往的時光, 有多少是在與祂賭氣, 與祂爭鬧, 又有多少時光是真正愛祂, 與祂交心的呢?
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The other day, I had a chat with a friend who just accepted Jesus as his Lord. He mentioned that life is the time to have relationship with God. What he said made me glimpse something: how much of my life that I spend on arguing or wrestling with God and how much of my life that I love Him truly and worship Him?

knock, knock...

Knock, knock...
"Is anyone there?"
Knock, knock...
"Could you let me in?"
Knock, knock...
"Please open the door!"
Knock, knock...
Knock, knock...

I run out my tears and strength
sitting on the ground outside of the gate
"knock, knock..." I say...

I stare at the door and wait
leaning on the door shut behind me
"knock, knock..." I say...

You open the door with tears on your face
smiling to me and say...
"my love, sorry for making you wait
I have prepared the best for you, my beloved."

Knock, knock...
Knock, knock...
The pounding of my heart has been heard by my beloved...

Knock, knock...
Knock, knock...

smile

前兩天搭捷運時, 在車廂中看到一張立貼, 上面寫著: "讓陽光照進車廂. 對你身邊的來個微笑吧."
看了, 嘴角不禁微笑了起來, 在這冷冷的空氣中, 灰灰的車廂裡, 臉上的微笑就像是溫暖的太陽花...
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Couple of days ago, I saw a note sticked on the glass of London underground. It was saying: make the sun shine on the underground; smile to the person you see next you."
Reading it, I can't hold my smile. In the chilly air, gray cart, the smile on our faces is the warmest sunflower...

天堂 Heaven

記得一個故事是這麼說的, 最殘酷的懲罰就是沒有人可以分享.
能夠與彼此相愛的人一起看電影, 散步, 甚至只是靠在一起, 都是幸福的, 而那就是天堂, 反之, 就是地獄.
有人曾如此描述地獄, 就是沒有上帝的地方; 與上帝分離.
相信了上帝, 就是開始與神建立一個關係, 一個愛的關係.
但我是否真的因與上帝在一起而感到是在天堂呢?
是否我真的因能夠與他分享歡笑的時光, 流淚的時刻, 或無言的靜默, 而感到滿足, 幸福, 感到在天堂呢?
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There is a story saying like this: the cruelest punishment is there is no one you can share with.
It's happiness and heaven when we are able to have time with the one whom we love each other : talking a walk, watching a movie, or even just leaning against each other.
Believing God is building a relationship with Him, a love relationship.
But would I really feel like in heaven while having the relationship with God?
Do I really think I am in heaven just because I can share the time of my tears, laughs or even silence with Him?
Am I really happy and satisfied with just being with Him?

明白 Understand

為什麼, 為什麼, 為什麼... 不斷的在問.
你或無言, 或給我另一個為什麼的答案. 我繼續的問...

終於, 停止了詢問, 因我無法完全了解你,
無法明白你如何創造這世界, 無法明白你為何如此愛我, 無法明白在你腦中的計畫及想法,

但我終於明白,
這些尚未得到答案的為什麼, 都不在那麼重要,
重要的是...我深深明白你愛我, 全心全意的愛我, 為著我;
而你要的, 是我能愛你, 且完全信任你, 相信你....

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Why? Why? Why...? I keep asking.
Either you are silent or give me an answer for another "why".
I continue asking...

Finally, I stop, because I would never understand you completely.
I don't understand how you created the world;
I don't understand why you love me so;
I don't understand those thoughts and plans in your mind.

But I, finally, understand that
it's not that important to find out the answer for those unanswered questions.
The most important thing is...
I truly know you love me, with your whole heart,
and you are always there for me.
What you want from me is...
I can love you, fully trust in you and believe you...

風箏 Kite

我曾是只風箏, 自在的飛行在天際中.
忘了飛了多久, 習慣了身上的破洞, 裂痕.
漸漸的, 被纏住, 墜落...
我的眼, 直直的盯著在腳下的世界.

我抬頭仰望, 看著屬我的天空,
決定挺身, 掙開繩索,
再次,
感受到風, 經歷到飛翔;
再次
回到屬我的天際...
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I was a kite flying in the sky.
I forgot how long I have been flying, used to the hole on me and cracks.
Slowly, I was stuck, falling and falling...
My eyes, staring at the world under my feet.

I lift up my head looking at the sky once that I belonged to;
Deciding to make my back straight, breaking the rope entangling me.
Again,
I feel the wind; experience the flying;
Again,
turn back to the sky where I belong to...

他聽, 他聽 He answered me

謝謝你聽見我, 且回答了我的請求. 四個月沈默的日子, 今天你開了我的口, 給了我機會, 一個二十分鐘做自己的自在. 謝謝你深知我的心思, 謝謝你的體貼, 謝謝你對我的愛!!
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Thank you for hearing me and answering my request. After four-month silence, today, you open my mouth and give me an opportunity, the twenty-minute freedom of being myself. Thank you for knowing the deep desire down into my heart; thank you for your sweetness; thank you for the love you have for me.

擁抱 Hugs

月亮躲在漆黑的天空之外, 獨自走在蜿蜒的小路上.
累, 是乾裂的雙腳, 也是沁在淚水中的心.
只想躺在你的肩膀上, 任由我的心傾倒在你的面前;
只想張開我的雙臂, 緊緊將你抱住!
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The moon is hiding behind the dark sky.
I am walking along the winding road.
Tired is my legs; tired is my heart sopping in the tears.
I just want to lean on your shoulders and pour out my heart before you;
just want to open my arms and hold you tightly into my arms.

安靜 Silence

好一段時間沒有打開我的部落格了.是忙,也可能是不願有太多感覺吧.所以寫不出什麼東西...
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It's been for a while not opening my blog. Busy is the reason but also I didn't want to have too many feelings. Therefore, I have nothing to say....

真誠的對待自己?! Treat yourself truly?!

前幾個星期又再看了一次"臥虎藏龍“.當然那些武術的美是不在話下,但吸引我的是片中的角色及對話.在片尾,出現了這句話"真誠的對待自己",聽來是錯綜複雜的滋味.每個人都希望可以真誠的對待自己,聽自己心裡的聲音,做真的自己,可是什麼是"真的自己"呢?大多數的人可能在其他人的身上找自己,在不同的價值觀中找自己,用自己的直覺找自己,但這些都不完全,都是一片片的拼圖.我相信只有上帝可以告訴我們什麼是"真的自己".聖經說:"我的肺腑是你所造的,我在母腹中,你以覆蔽我".若要真的知道如何'真誠的對待自己",那應該要先找到自己,所以何不在上帝的眼中,尋找那個未曾見過的自己呢?
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Couple of weeks ago, I watched the movie "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" again. No doubting, the martial art is beautiful and amazing but the thing attracted me most is the characters and the context. In the end of movie, there is a sentence filled with mixed feelings, "treat yourself truly". Everyone wants to treat himself truly, to listen to the voice from his heart and to be himself. But what is "true self"? Most of us tries to find ourselves from others' eyes, different values or our own conscience or instinct, but all of these is not complete but pieces of puzzles. I believe only God can tell us who we really are. Bible says: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." If we want to know how to treat ourselves truly, we should, first, find out who we really are. So why not try to find out the "you" who you never see and know through God's eyes.

The "Superhero" Party!!

一向不習慣與一大群人在一起的我,今晚卻參加了這有點瘋的Party :D. 每個人都費心的裝扮了一下,但一定是要符合主題: 英雄! 大夥吃喝外加跳舞,結束了開學後的第一個星期五...想要看一下我們有多瘋嗎?歡迎瀏覽“桂桂相簿" !!你會知道成為基督徒一點也不無聊!!
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It's not what I used to do to be in a huge crowd but I participated this a bit crazy party :D. Everyone put a lot of energy on dressing up but it has to match the main topic of tonight: Hero! That's how we end the very fist week of this term by lots of drinks, chips and dance. Want to know how crazy we are?! Welcome to check on "Virginia's album"! And you will know it's not a boring at all being Christmas!!

Faith like potatoes

聖誕節的時候,看了一部電影 “Faith like potatoes".很棒!!!男主角的信心,隨著馬鈴薯的種子被埋進了黑黑的土裡.因他的堅持,他看見了奇蹟.喜歡他說的一句話"一顆偉大神蹟的種子,不是種在困難的事情上,而是種在不可能的事情上".是的,當我面對不可能事情的時候,我相信奇蹟會發生嗎?或是任由這些不可能壓過我呢?我是否真的可以抓住上帝的話及祂的屬性,而相信且等待奇蹟會來到呢?
電影網站1:
電影網站2:

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During Christmas time, I watched a movie called "Faith like potatoes". It's a great movie!! The faith of the main character was buried in the dark soil along with the seed of potato. He saw the miracle because of his faith. I like the word he said "the seed of a great miracle lies not in difficulty but impossibility". Do I believe the miracle will happen when I face the impossible thing? Or I just let the impossibility overcome me?! Can I really hold on God's promise and who He is, believe that the miracle will come and wait till it comes?

The movie website1:
The movie website2:

開學了 The school starts

明天就在開始我的第一堂課了.有些小緊張,怕聽不懂＠＠
這幾天有機會和一些人聊天,每個人都有他來到這學校的故事.聽了之後,只有一個字,就是謙卑,就像聖經裡所說的,當看自己所當看的.希望我不會太高估自己也不輕看自己!!!




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Tomorrow, my first class will start. To be honest, I am a little nervous about not being able to understand what the teacher says.
These few days, I got some chances to talk with some students here. Everyone has his/her own story of the reason of coming to this school. After listening few stories, there is only one thing jumped my mind which is humble. Bible said that "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought". May I would not either see myself higher than who I really am or look down myself!!!